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Santa Song lyrics
So many presents,
so little time,
Santa won t be coming around my house this year,
cos I tried to drown my sister and I pierced my ear,
Oh mama made it perfectly clear,
Santa don t like bad boys...especially Jewish ones.

Gnip-gnop and lego blocks are all that I desire,
so why did I have to set the pizza guy s hair on fire,
I told him I was sorry,
I m a liar,
so no toys for me...I don t deserve them.

I couldn t wait for a big wheel as the holiday neared,
but then I told my grandma that she had a beard.

Dear Santa,

I know what my problem is, why I can t be good, it s a fear of intimacy.
You see my whole life whenever I ve met someone really great like you and
I keep feeling like I m getting close to them, something inside me makes
me want to screw it up. So in a weird way the reason I m so bad is because
I love you santa.

Rock-em Sock-em Robots is what I was hoping for,
but then I made a death threat to vice president Gore,
oh santa won t be knocking on my door,
cos he s a big fat whore...what made me say that?

Chutes and ladders would be so good indeed,
so why d I have to sell that cop a bag of weed,
so Santa please give me that easy bake oven,
I swear I thought billy goats we re made for lovin .

So Santa won t you accept my apologies,
Santa can t you see I m begging you please,
oh Santa next year I ll do you right,
Live from New York it s Saturday night...
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