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song lyrics
Toll Booth Willie lyrics
[Car approaches]
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Welcome to Worchester. Dollar twenty-five please."
[M1:] "Hey, how ya doin Toll Booth Willie?"
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Good! Thanks fer askin, pop!"
[M1:] "Aww, that s great, you know, considering yer a fuckin idiot!"
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Go fuck yourself you son of a bitch!
I ll come right outta the booth and fuckin whack ya, you fuckin prick!"
[Another car approaches]
[M2:] "Hey, hey, Willie! Hows it going?"
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Hey, can t complain, pop. Hows bout you?"
[M2:] "Oh, great, great. How much?"
[Toll Booth Willie:] "The state charges a dollar twenty-five, pop."
[M2:] "That s fine. Now should I give you the money,
or should I shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?"
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Why you fuckin hard on!
I ll fucking Carlton Fisk yer fuckin head with a Louise-ville fuckin slugger!
Whadya think of that ass fuck!?"
[Another car approaches]
[F1:] "Hi Willie."
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Oh, nice to see ya M am. Not a bad day, huh?"
[F1:] "Well, I m a little lost. Could you help me out?
I hear your the best with directions."
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Well I know my way around New England.
I can tell ya that much. So where ya headed?"
[F1:] "Well, I was just wondering exactly which is the best way
to drive up your ass. You know, if you d tell me,
I d appreciate it, you fuckin prick."
[Drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] "You fuckin bitch! Fuck you!
You forgot to pay the fuckin toll you dirty whore!
I ll fuckin drop you with a boot to the fuckin skull you cum guzzling queen!"
[Another car approaches]
[M3:] "Hey Willie."
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Hey, how are ya?"
[M3:] "Here s a dollar twenty-five, and go fuck yourself."
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Dah, you fuckin prick!
I hope you choke on a fuckin bottle cap, ya fuckin son of a fuck!
Eat shit! Eat my shit!"
[Another car approaches]
[Bishop Nelson:] "Hello Willie. Good to see you."
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Ahhh, Bishop Nelson. Nice to see ya.
That was quite a sermon you had the other day."
[Bishop Nelson:] "Hey, well I do my best."
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Dollar twenty-five, Bishop."
[Bishop Nelson:] "Dollar twenty-five,
Willie. Isn t that the same price your mother charges for a blow job,
you piece of dog shit!?"
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Ohhh! Have another one, you fuckin lush!
It s not my fault the bartender cut ya off last night ya fuckin douche bag!"
[Another car approaches]
[M5:] "Hey!"
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Well hey!"
[M5:] "Yeah, do you want the money,
or should I just shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?"
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Well, I already heard that one you fuckin unoriginal bastard!
Go suck a corn you fuckin piece of repeatin shit!"
[Another car approaches]
[F2:] "Hi."
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Oh, hi. How are ya?"
[F2:] "Fine, thank you. How much is the toll please?"
[Toll Booth Willie:]"For you sweetheart, it s a dollar twenty-five."
[F2:] "Here ya go."
[Pays toll]
[F2:] "Thank you."
[Begins to drive off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Hey! Hey! Honey! Would you like a receipt with that?"
[F2:] "Oh, I almost forgot. Thank you so much."
[Toll Booth Willie scribbling a receipt for her]
[Toll Booth Willie:] "And here ya are."
[F2:] "Umm, do you think you could sign it?"
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Oh, uh.. sign it?"
[F2:] "Yeah, sign Toll Booth Willie was here."
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Ok, sure. Uhh, by the way, what is this for?"
[Signing receipt]
[F2:] "Just so I could have proof for my friends that
I met the biggest fuckin dip shit with the smallest dick alive.
You understand."
[Drives off]
[Crumples up paper]
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Fuck you, you fuckin upity bitch!
I ll fuckin fuck you and all your lesbian fish-eating friends in front
of your fuckin mothers! You re gonna die, bitch! I m comin outta the booth!"
[Opens the door and runs out of the booth]
[Car screeches and hits him]
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Ooooh! My fuckin leg!"
[M6:] "Hey! You ran over Toll Booth Willie!"
[M7:] "Oh my God! I was always wondering what it would be like to run over a
dried up stinky dick licker."
[Toll Booth Willie:] "Why you fuckin pricks.
I fuckin hear every fuckin word yer saying!
When this fuckin leg heals,
I m gonna kick you guys new fuckin assholes!
[Everyone cussing eachother out]
song lyrics
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