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Hey I m Santa Claus,
I m the king of snow
I hate my wife because
She is ho ho ho
She used to please me everyday
Then she made it clear
That Santa s only s pose to come once year
Now I buy whores
Rock n roll
And I stuff their stockings
With my north pole

I had a wonderful life
With a healthy household
And a beautiful wife
And a pot full of gold
Then my wife spent my riches all by herself
And since women are bitches, blew a keebler elf
Now I drink all day
And a part of me dies
Cause my wife s gettin gangbanged
By the rice krispie guys

Everyday I get up, and I get to work late,
My boss says "hey what sup?"
I say I m grrrrrrowing tired of this shit
The kids they laugh cause I m a sensitive cat
"big pussy!" I can t argue with that
If another kid gives me frosted flakes
I swear on my life, I ll eat his parents.

I m the easter bunny hey I m back
Used to funny now I m hooked on crack
Heaps of heroine aint no joke
Marshmallow peeps, covered in coke coke coke coke
Coooooke
Drugs for life that s my plan
But now I have no attention sp?...

Hey pat did you hear? all my elves got sick
I think they got herpes from some irish chick

Santa, tony, could you guys please stop?
Oh snap... crackle and pop
song lyrics

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