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Double Diet lyrics

[Parody of "Picture" by Kid Rock and Cheryl Crow]
I live on burgers, Cheetos, and ice cream
Got nothing but lard in my blood stream
Guess my sweet tooth was something more than a phase
Been fueling up on cupcakes and Twinkies
Gained so much weight my girl left me
She said to call her if I ever change my ways
I put the pizza away
Went on a diet today
I can t wait till I get thin then I ll show her
I put the pizza away
I m gonna lose some weight
I can t wait till I get thin then I ll show her
I missed you last night at the hotel
I even missed your bacon and beer smell
Then it finally dawned on me how to make things right
I pulled up to a fast food venue
Ordered everything on the menu
Time to go back home and stuff my face
Picked up a pizza today
I m gonna power binge
I m gonna eat till nothing s left in the fridge
I m gonna hit the buffet
I m gonna gain some weight
I can t wait till I get fat then I ll show him
Been hitting Ben and Jerry s for breakfast
You know I finally got the hang of this Slim Fast
Since you ve been gone
I ve been gaining/losing so much weight
I ve been jogging instead of taking the car
I ve been eating mayonaise straight from the jar
I was making dessert
I was off to lift some weights
Now I m liking what I see on the scale
So I sent a picture out in the mail
Oh hey look you sent one too
Let s just.. whoa, hey wait / OMG!
I saw your picture today
I see you ve changed your ways
You know I think I liked you better the way you were
I saw your picture today
I see you lost/gained some weight
I just called to say don t bother to come back home
I just called to say don t bother to come back home
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